El-Bot's Blog Spot

Free Market Fascism

2010-02-06T15:57:00.007-05:00

Man that's a compelling blog title, isn't it?

Everyone has been talking about the recent Supreme Court case involving corporations ability to engage in free speech. I sorta held out of the conversation because from a singularly letter-of-the-law legal perspective, I think the SC was right.

I'm not a lawyer or anything, but for two years I performed legal research on a daily basis. One of the most frustrating terms of art was the word "individual." I frequently could not determine if a law applied to people, companies, partnerships or all three without serious research.

So, some might ask, "what's your problem then? Why are you even going to write a blog post about this? Hasn't everyone said everything that needs to be said?"

To which I say, "probably." But something has been bothering me about this whole thing, and that's where the title comes in.

To be completely upfront, I'm stealing a little move from the Frankfurt school - they loved calling everything disagreeable fascist. I think I'm merited in this instance though. What was the greatest tools of fascists? Propaganda. Some members of the Frankfurt school (Horkheimer, Adorno and Walter Benjamin) were particularly fearful of film. It is this magic medium that they thought the human mind just couldn't do battle with.

Back then, people were afraid of the government using propaganda against them to disseminate a single-party ideology.

Fast-forward to now. The Supreme Court gave something that we all view intuitively as a human right - the right of free speech - to a decidedly inhuman class of entities. These entities may seem separate and disparate, but they have a unifying and singular ideology: profit.

That's what really irks and creeps people out about this whole thing; the court went out of its way to give the single, and many would argue ruling, party the power of propaganda.

We all saw Kerry swiftboated. We know how these TV commercials work. They use suggestion and unsubstantiated claims to manipulate viewers. There is no truth in this type of advertising. This green-light on propaganda will further separate the country and keep our national lawmaking (and therefore enforcement) mechanisms in gridlock.

This goes far beyond Republican and Democrat. It is inconceivable, that a body designated to interpret and uphold the Constitution, a sacred document intended to protect the rights of the American people, would pervert that very document to further embroil us in the fascist mechanism of propaganda.

Local Boy Shrugs Off Systemic Thought

2010-02-05T22:02:00.001-05:00

It's been a while since I've written a post, but I've had many ideas for posts. I swear! Life has been pervading though. Anyway, I'm back yo!

Today I was thinking about "sheeple" - you know that derogatory term that refers to the population that exists outside of you and your friends. You don't? Well, it was a really popular term like four or five years ago. It is a combination of the words sheep and people, and intended to refer to people that are part of the herd - conformists.

I have a bit of a problem with the term - probably because of where I went to university, University of King's College. It was a somewhat snobby school. As you can see in the photo to the left, everyone is wearing robes and signing an big ledger book. That's what we would do every year, but with a glass of sherry in hand (I'm not joking).

While at King's, the primary activity is the study of philosophy - specifically the history of philosophy, or what is called continental philosophy.

Continental philosophy is great. I love it to death, but if anything it can be too immersive. Wide-eyed first years would sit down to read Plato, and upon finishing, believe they were going to be the Philosopher King. At that school, people often held the sincere belief that reading a few books by Plato, Hegel, Nietzsche or Wittgenstein elevated them on a social level - rather than a personal level.

They forgot Socrates' most important credo: "the only thing that I know, is that I know nothing." Socrates learns just as much - if not more - from slaves vs. generals and kings.

So what does this have to do with those nutty little sheeple? People have a tendency to believe they are smarter than everyone around. This tendency gives birth to many things - including road rage. I guess that one shouldn't discount people even if they do seem to be blindly following along.

There are constructs that make us believe we are the elevated ones. Intellectualism, privilege, religion, and psychology are just a few of the ways we seek to define ourselves against out "the other".

My point is: give people a chance, and never assume that they have nothing to offer, or that they have nothing going on behind their vacant soulless stare.

As they say in Fightclub. You are not a unique and individual snowflake. You are an animal, a social animal, and that's ok.

Old Poem

2009-12-29T21:31:00.001-05:00

Can I hear,
the whistling hegemony
crashing the Parthenon?
Can I see,
L.E.D's blinking away
sanctimonious light?
Can I feel,
cyborgs coming,
crashing on the green door?
Man meets machine.
I want to have sex
in an industrial park,
and in parked cars.
With peeping, voyeuristic Networks
coming
across the F.M.

America's Love Affair

2009-11-23T20:54:00.003-05:00

In the Summer of 2003, I got Ruby, a 1998 Subaru Legacy Brighton Edition. This was the crowing achievement of what could only be described as a classic and formative Summer. "Hey Ya" was burning up the charts, and every night was crazier than the last with joyous dancing. What is a Brighton Edition? I think it means - no frills. None. I have to stop this car with my feet a la Flintstones. Despite the lack of modern conveniences like power locks and air conditioning, I have loved this car. I once drove it from Halifax, NS to Skagway, AK and back. That was a long trip.

I have taken this car everywhere, and I've gotten in - and out - of many scrapes with this fine example of Japanese engineering.

Whenever I take Ruby into a mechanic, they always shake their head and say: "That car doesn't sound too good. I wouldn't take it on any long trips."

Then, I laugh in their face because Ruby and I have been defying the odds since our first trip to Halifax in the fall of 2003. Recently though, their words of warning have begun to ring true. Ruby isn't as spry as it once was, and for the past two years I've had two major problems with the car. I'm beginning to recognize that our time together is coming to a close. Ruby has been a good car, but we're both getting older. Ruby is 11 and has endured some harsh winters and juvenile stunts. Recognizing that the end was near, I looked into the cash-for-clunkers, but Ruby is still not a clunker in the eyes of the law. Apparently the law shares my passion for this automobile.

So, I've begun looking at the car market. I want to take a step forward and purchase something slightly newer and fancier than Ruby. I don't just want to replace my current car, but upgrade. I was thinking a luxury sedan, or convertible might be a good idea. Notice I'm not naming any makes or models - I'm not that kind of blogger...

Everything has been so damned expensive though. At this point I recognized an inherent contradiction in automobile ownership; cars represent the open road, adventure and America. Cars are supposed to make us free, but any car that I truly want would turn me into an indentured servant - turning over every paycheck to feed my internal combustion overlord. I've always felt this way to some degree (when looking for a good parking space for example). This giant inanimate object had a strong hold over my life, like a giant mechanical baby.

I wish I could do without a car, but in a rural state like VT, not having a vehicle is about on-par with living with one's parents. It is socially unacceptable to have no personal transportation.

Maybe for my next car I'll get a 1999 Subaru Legacy Eddie Bauer Edition… watch out ladies!

Action Items

2009-11-20T11:34:00.004-05:00

I thought I would, very quickly, compile a list of my favorite corny action movie lines. A lot of them are from Schwarzenegger movies (go figure).

Eraser -

Eraser is a pretty damned bad movie, but it had one of my favorite lines of all time. Allow me to set the scene. Arnold is trapped in a zoo with Vanessa Williams. Why? I have no idea. He shoots an aquarium containing alligators as a distraction? The CG alligators are obviously very pissed about this and proceed to eat everyone they can find. They are about to eat Arnold, who blew up their habitat and killed their brother (probably) when Arnold shoots them in the face and says "You're luggage." That was an endangered species for christ sakes! Classic. Click below to read more!

Total Recall -

Again, Arnold Schwarzenegger is back in what is arguably one of his best roles. There is a point where Arnold is in some crazy tunnels being attacked by a giant digging machine operated by a creepy taxi driver (who has no kids). Arnold grabs a drill and as he drives it into the heart of the machine, and the creepy taxi driver within, yells "screw you." Nothing is harder than being pithy while driving a giant drill into a psychotic taxi driver, but Mr. Schwarzenegger pulls it off! This movie, based on a Phillip K. Dick novel, and directed by the Starship Troopers and Robocop auteur, Paul Verhoeven, is just amazing!

On Her Majesty's Secret Service -

This is one of the worst James Bond movies ever - which is saying something... Bond, played by George Lazenby (why!), is engaged in a skiing chase scene. On a tangent, let me just say that skiing chase scenes are awesome. A bad guy skis into a snowblower and red snow spews everywhere. Bond calmly says, "he had a lot of guts." He had a lot of guts? Not, "that was horrific and will haunt my dreams forever." Not, "I pity the poor mountain employee that has to clean that up." Not, "I hope there were no children skiing nearby that saw that because England's socialized healthcare system can't afford to pay for all the therapy they'll need." Nope. "He had a lot of guts," and you'd know Mr. Bond. You can see the bloody snow at around 50 seconds in on this very well produced trailer. Oh, also, James Bond gets married in this movie. How crazy is that?

Well, that's all I have time for right now. I may add a few more to this list, but feel free to suggest any one liners that I've omitted in the comments section. Also, I found this site while writing this - it is awesome! http://www.moviedeaths.com/

Free Ideas for Money Making

2009-11-10T21:09:00.007-05:00

Dear NYDOT,

I have a great idea for your Crown Point bridge razing. You should blow it up. I know that's not original, but here's the twist, NYDOT, you charge a $5 "safety charge" to bystanders. That's just bridge destruction monopolizing step one.

Next, have a raffle for the person that gets to push the dynamo. The dynamo is that awesome plunger that sets the explosion into motion. I'd pay 2 dollars per ticket to get the chance to push set the explosion in motion.

Also, melt down every piece of the bridge except for one, which would be a valuable commemorative piece. Auction the piece off. Cha-ching!

Finally, find a movie which is in production and needs a bridge explosion. Rent the bridge out to the movie. They could even set the charges/pyrotechnics! Hear those cheering people in the background of the video? They sound like dollar signs to me...

Please consider these suggestions, NYDOT. Going forward, let's try and find innovative ways to exploit our crumbling infrastructure to fund future crumbling infrastructures rather than engaging in costly and nonexplosive demolitions.

Facebook Prank Goes Hilariously Wrong

2009-11-10T11:47:00.004-05:00

Sometimes a prank goes horribly wrong. Sometimes it goes hilariously wrong. This is a story of the latter. My former roommate Peter recently left Facebook. He said it was taking up too much of his time. He failed to understand that he was missing everything. He missed photos, inside jokes, invitations to parties. He missed major occasions in people's lives. Peter lives in Toronto and I live in Vermont, so we don't see each other that much. Facebook was an important way to stay connected, so I did the only thing I could do. I threatened him.

"Peter, if you don't get back onto Facebook, I'm going to start an account for you and you aren't going to like it."
"Go ahead. Start a fake account. I give you permission to manage my virtual life."

So I did. I made a profile for him. I tried to make it embarrassing and obviously fake. I said his favorite band was the Kings of Leon, and that P.S. I Love You was his favorite movie. It didn't work; everyone started friending him, and I of course allowed them to become friends.

All the while I was posting the strangest craziest status updates possible. Trying to make everyone realize that this was all an elaborate joke. Things like:

So much tentacle porn, so little time... wait! There is always time for tentacle porn!
I'm as irritable as my bowels...
Zac Efron is amazing
So much blood...

I tried to supplement these crazy posts with embarrassing photos.

Then the messages started - very personal messages. I answered some, but didn't feel comfortable stealing my good friend's online identity. So I tried to make the answers as ridiculous as possible. People got confused. People got angry. The only thing people failed to get was suspicious that they were not talking to Peter.

More and more I was relaying messages about apartment hunting and job hunting to Peter. I was filtering out the boring Facebook stuff and giving him the basic data he needed. I had gone from tormentor to personal assistant.

Everything reached an apex the other day when one of my own friends sent a message to Facebook Peter (me). Awkward! I told them that it was actually me, but it was very hard news to break. They didn't even seem to care though - they even thought it was funny. So, I'm going to continue on with my Facebook experiment. It may be occasionally awkward, but it also is pretty damned funny!

This cracks me up...

2009-11-09T15:24:00.003-05:00

Dear Abby,

2009-11-06T10:55:00.002-05:00

So, a friend of mine is writing a paper on manners and etiquette. I inevitably start writing my own paper, you know, in my head? Why? Because I'm essentially a school nerd and really, really miss writing papers. I'm pretty sure I would immediately begin with Wittgenstein. Why? Because I freakin' love Wittgenstein. Saussure would also be an excellent person to touch upon.

Little known fact: Wittgenstein's brother was a one armed concert pianist. True story.

My angle would be that intention is the single most important component to manners and etiquette. Meaning exists only in usage. Someone can follow every rule of etiquette and still be a very naughty/rude mofo. In fact, aristocracy made a game of seeing how rude they could be whilst still staying in the confines of the rules of polite society. Some would argue that this tradition continues today - I personally think drug dealers are masters of this game.

My paper would also include a little Sartre/Camus/Noel Coward because they really drive this point home Comedy of manners, and absurdism completely thrive on the preservation and inversion of cultural mores. Taking etiquette or any framework/system to its ultimate conclusion renders it to absurdity.

I once wrote a one act comedy of manners where a wife casually and politely announces to her husband that she would like to kill him, but she stops him from committing suicide at the end of the play. Perfect example of manners and intention being diametrically opposed.

Finally, if required to make a power point presentation, I would open with that great clip from the 1999 film "Blast from the Past," where Dave Foley's character, Troy, reveals that a gentleman's main goal is to make everyone around them feel at ease, not to use the proper fork. Kids in the Hall were also masters of the comedy of manners (any comedy really sigh).

I once read a guide to throwing an excellent party. The cardinal rule: guests can do whatever it is they want and should never be made to feel awkward or uncomfortable. The rule included an anecdote of a party-goer accidentally breaking one of the hostess' crystal glasses. The hostess, not missing a beat, grabbed another one of the glasses and smashed it as well. Now that's etiquette I can get behind!

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,

And then is heard no more. It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing. ~Macbethy

Slow to catch on, quick to catch up

2009-11-02T13:54:00.011-05:00

I feel like I have been pretty slow to catch on to the whole blogging thing. Maybe because I skipped blogging and went straight to the hardcore social media platforms like Friendster. 'Cause let's face it; blogging is a gateway platform.

Then again, maybe I'm right in line with the zeitgeist pours a little on the ground for Mr. Hegel. When blogging first came about it seemed to be all about an auxillary/alternative news source - journalists who didn't have to play by the rules for a variety of reasons. Yup, like John McClane.

Personally, I like my news filtered and contextualized. To continue the Die Hard metaphor, I'm Ellis, or the F.B.I. (you gotta imagine Alan Rickman saying that all slow like - I would love to see a Harry Potter/Die Hard mashup).

Take the recent trend of Burlington Free Press streaming events as an example of unfiltered media. Watching the press grill some poor local politician or figure, you realize why this is best kept behind closed doors. The tone of these sessions is professionally adversarial. Nobody is playing to the camera, so viewers are left without any context other than that tone. There are no speeches, editing or explanations. The questions become as much part of the story as the answers.

My point? I still read the news. I read the news because it is written by professionals who, for the most part, improve the stories they come in contact with by providing meaning and context. Yay news, but boo news for jumping into "new media" in silly ways. You all became journalists because you "had ink in your veins," or loved the idea of becoming the next Walter Cronkite, Stephen Crane or Ernest Hemingway. Don't forget your roots.

My other point? Unless someone really important reads this - like God. Journalists will continue jumping into new media, so everyone (both politicos and lay-people) should get very adept at navigating the new 24 hour news cycle.

Crosswords

2009-10-28T10:13:00.002-04:00

I had that dream again. The dream where you tell me what-for.
We then set-to with gusto. Onlookers are agog and agape,
as they tacitly gaze at our scuffle, our kerfuffle.
Squinting at your visage, my heart is set aflutter.
I ~~prey~~ pray.
I pray to Krishna, Buddha, Shiva, Genesha, and Gaia.
I pray to the patron saint of love,
inaugural user of the Deus Ex Machina,
and protofeminist, Medea.
I'd cut off my nose to,
spite you,
if it meant crossing swords again.

Halloween Costume (some explicit language)

2009-10-23T14:15:00.015-04:00

A little background: my friend, Pete, has always consulted with me regarding Halloween costumes - ever since I suggested that he go as Florida a la Simpsons. (Fave quote from the episode: Lisa: [about her state costume] I'm a monster! Homer: No, Lisa, you're not a monster. The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother, and I call him Gamblor! We must save your mother from his neon claws!).

His costume was a huge hit. We were also lumberjacks one year, and I was Castro another. This year, he emailed me requesting a costume suggestion. My response is below:

Well here's the deal. The Where the Wild Things Are costume is going to be hot, and sorta easy to pull off. You buy a rabbit costume, add a homemade crown and you are done. There are some problems with this costume though.

It isn't very original.
It signifies a certain wide-eyed optimism/lifestyle that you don't subscribe to.

So, I have some suggestions. Go as the forthcoming gay porn parody of Where the Wild Things Are. (Where the Wild Things Fuck, or Where the Wild Thing Goes). This involves dildos, either as a crown or falsely inserted into orifi.

Or, go as the rabbit from Donnie Darko because everyone is sooo over that movie. When people suggest that you are the kid from Where the Wild Things Are say, "I'm the rabbit from Donnie Darko, but I lost my mask. They made a movie based on Where the Wild Things Are? That's terrible."

You could also go as Alternative Energy (download a lot of Coldplay and dance to it energetically) or a famous painting. Georgia O'Keefe anyone?

Those are my suggestions,

Your helpful friend,

Elliott

The Beginning

2009-10-23T11:00:00.000-04:00

Hi! My name is Elliott!

So, I've tried blogging before, but I'm going to try it again. In part, because I often have a random thought or idea, that I would like to talk about on my office blog, but it may be a bit too off-the-wall, or raunchy.

I'm also starting this blog now because I like writing, and am slowly getting better at it. This is an opportunity to continue practicing. So, here it goes. Do not be surprised if this blog goes defunct every now and then.